Why you do the things you do...

Happy One Year Anniversary to MOI.  One year of blogging, is that the "Re-assessment" anniversary?   I have to admit I am rather shocked, SHOCKED I tell ya, that I am still here in Blog-land blogging.  And am even MORE verklempt that I have some people who are actually interested in what I have to show and tell.  My natural inclination is to think that the only people interested in what I have to say or think are....well....MOI.  Which I guess brings me right back to the beginning.  WHY I do the things I do.  Like....blog.

"Why Did I Do That?"
(self-portrait)

Truthfully, I don't think I gave much thought as to WHY I wanted to blog.  I'm pretty good at just jumping into things without any more thought than "Because I WANT to damn it".   Hate to admit this is no Earth shattering revelation to those who know me.  On the surface, I "rationalized" I wanted to be held accountable to improve my photography.  That sounded legit, right?  And I think I believed that was the initial impetus. But quite honestly, if I delve deeper I  guess I just wanted a space of my OWN to show and tell what "I" wanted to show and tell.  That becomes a rare commodity as a wife and mom.  We tend to sacrifice bits and pieces of ourselves until we willingly and happily give away so many pieces that we become unrecognizeable to ourselves.  Maybe I shouldn't assume this happens to anyone other than myself.  But sometimes I feel I am a flashing blue light special at K-Mart (haha..my family is laughing right now at the idea that I have even been IN a K-Mart) and everyone is stampeding at me.  Scratch that...I'm a pair of designer shoes at a Barney's basement sale.

At one time in my life, I was kind of a smart and funny girl...who liked shoes.  I'm just not sure where or when I lost the smart and funny part.  The shoes?  Luckily they were still in my closet.  But my Things sure didn't think I was very smart or funny.  Probably for good reason...because I wasn't anymore.  I lost my sense of humor right along with my brain cells thru the years.  But my Thing #2 STILL liked to borrow my shoes...so all was not lost.

When it comes right down to it, I blog to be me.  It's why I do many of the things I do these days.  The only role I play here in Blog-land is that of...moi.  And that is a welcome escape and sanctuary.  Funny how developing my photographic eye and skills, and dusting off my writer's pen keyboard resulted in a slow re-assembly of all those pieces of me that had been chipped away.  Having a place to show and tell exactly what "I" want to show and tell is very self-healing.  If nothing else, IF this self-evaluation is part of a mid-life crisis well then....my Better Half should be smiling that he got off without having to buy me a shiny red sports car convertible.  So I guess I also blog to save the Better Half some money, haha. Yep, still "Queen of Rationalization".

I'm 52 years old.  But since blogging...I really don't feel my age.  I think it is in part because I like what I re-discovered in myself.  I like seeing the beauty in the often unnoticed thru photography.  And I like the humor I see in the everyday happenings of my life.  And I STILL like my shoe closet.  Yes, I have a closet.  Yes, it is just for shoes.  Yes....I think that is kinda awesome, just sayin'. You know what else I think is kinda cool?  That I will have a tangible record of my words and photographs for my future grandkids (waaaaaaay future) to see.  And MAYBE they will say "WOW, (I need to first find a VERY cool name for Grandmom to fill in here) was a pretty awesome lady, AND she wore some kick-a$$ shoes too!!!!!"

It's just why I do the things I do.  Happy Anniversary to Moi...

--Kathy

"Hey! You!...

...get off of my cloud

"Get Off Of My Cloud"



'cause two's a crowd on my cloud, baby."

-Rolling Stones

--Kathy

Angels, Roses and Rain...

"Angels Cry With Roses and Rain"

(edited with Kim Klassen's Pourvous @35% Lighten)

Attended a funeral yesterday.  As with the passing of loved ones, sadness is a natural part of the process.  But it was also a celebration of a long and loving life.  There is a new guardian angel looking over so many of my family and friends.  So the next time you see a rose with rain drops...remember that Angels cry with roses and rain.  And sometimes those tears are those of happiness.  R.I.P.

God Bless...

--Kathy

Scavenger Hunt Sunday (June 24, 2012)...

Before I get to Scavenger Hunt Sunday, quick question.  I'm quickly falling into another black hole that is threatening to swallow up any remaining free time I have...Instagram.  Yes I know, I'm fashionably late to the party AGAIN.  When oh WHEN will I ever find time to dust my baseboards and clean doggie nose prints off my windows?  So I'm curious to find out what apps for Instagram I'm missing out on too?  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated...and my future cleaning lady thanks you too.

This week's Scavenger Hunt Sunday prompts are:  Warped, Concentric Circles, Gear, Glazed, and Marble.


1.  Warped

"From Croatia, With Love"

Is it warped enough that I'm wearing leather boots when it is 100 degrees outside?  If not, I processed the photo on warped paper just to make sure.  BUT, my Better Half would tell you how warped it is that I think it is perfectly normal to want to go back to Croatia to get another pair of my favorite boots.  Apparently Croatian women have very skinny calves...like moi.


2.  Concentric Circles

FIRST, I had to look up what "concentric circles" meant!  Yes, I know my geometry teacher is rolling in his grave right now (unless he is still alive...because that would just be awkward).  Circles sharing the same center point.  Yeah, yeah, yeah..I knew that Mr. Staller.


3.  Gear

"En Plein Air"

An artist and his gear.  Found a beautiful lavender farm yesterday.  Fields and fields of lavender.  There goes my rationale for the Better Half to take me to Provence.  On to "Plan B"... the food.

4.  Glazed

Spin Art!!!!!!  Oh how I loved this at carnivals and fairs when I was a kid.  Oh how I would get motion sick just looking at it.  How the paint would spin outwards and glaze the paper in circular patterns.  It was either this or a glazed donut for a photo....my hips say thank you to Spin Art.  (Yes, this is concentric circles too...see, I'm smart like that Mr. Staller)


5.  Marble

"Strawberry Lavender Fields, Forever"

"Marble-cam" to the rescue.  Seriously, WHO sits around and thinks "Hmmmm, I think an i-phone app that puts a big huge marble into a photo would be waaaaaay cool"???????  Obviously someone who is RIGHT.



Another Scavenger Hunt Sunday in the books.  Next week will mark my One Year  Anniversary of both blogging AND Scavenger Hunt Sundays.  Time sure flies when I'm having fun.  But seriously, my house is a MESS!!!!!!

Happy Sunday...

--Kathy

linked to:

It's raining candy...

Dear Mr. President,

Could you please bring home all of our soldiers and stop the fighting in the world?

And...

could you please make it rain candy too?

Oh, please pet your dog for me.

Sincerely,

Chloe (2nd grader)

What goes up...

...must come down

"Walking on Air"



Alas, good things don't last forever...and neither do celestial Sweet Tarts, Tootsie Rolls and Bubble Gum.  Drats.

Now...if we could just work on that world peace thingy.

It's Friday, how did THAT happen?  Try to stay cool out there, and have a wonderful weekend.

--Kathy

"If nothing ever changed...

...there would be no butterflies"

author unknown - but I REALLY wish it was moi

"If Nothing Ever Changed"

Altho...is this a moth?

--Kathy  (the insect-challenged photographer)

linked:to:

$1,000 just doesn't buy what it use to...

I'm back for another visit to the fabulous Stasha's "Monday Listicles" over at  The Good Life.  Random ramblings, the sequel. Today Stasha inquired, what would I do if an extra $1,000 miraculously landed in my lap wallet? Seriously, I get excited when I find an extra five bucks crumpled up in a coat pocket. But $1,000 bestowed upon moi?  I might just go full mental jacket at the mall.  But...first I would like to thank the Academy.  And then I would tell the judges that I would be honored to donate the stash towards my dream of fulfilling world peace.  BUT, then I would...

1.  NOT pay any bills

I would avoid my mailbox like the plague. I'm afraid all the bills might suck the moolah right out of my tightly clenched fist and into fiscal responsibility. If I can't have world peace...then this is all gonna be about MOI.

2.  Cosmetic surgery on my feet....OR even better...feet transplants

Geez, I'm thinking $1,000 MIGHT get me a smaller second toe...and that's about it.  We can put a man on the moon, yet we can't make my feet prettier?

3.  No Brainer...TRAVEL

ALMOST as much fun as travelling is...planning it.  I could EASILY spend $1,000 in the travel section of the bookstore planning for my next monetary windfall.


4.  ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!

Maybe I would just throw a suitcase into the car and take off to where ever the road leads me.  $1,000 in gas and tolls should get me to....Peoria and back?????

5.  Fly the Friendly Skies

I always thought it would be so cool to go to the airport, check the departure boards and just pick a destination spur of the moment.  Even better...fly first class.  $1,000 could fly me from Philly to Pittsburgh, first class...ummmm ONE WAY.  And then I'd be stuck in the 'burgh.  Scratch that.

6.  Take Out

I wonder how long I could make $1,000 last on take out food????  No cooking, no dishes...no sweat.

7.  Ahhhh, Minty Fresh

A year's worth of doggie breath mints for my stinker.  I love ya buddy BUT...

8.  Seriously Dude?  This is suppose to be all about MOI.

...but you are kinda forcing my hand to give my boucoup bucks to you for a new outfit OR therapy.  Did your wife even notice that you left the house dressed as a chicken?


9.  Italia

I KNOW I can get to Italy on $1,000, because Rick Steves tells me so.  And my Rick never lies to moi. All I need to do once there is just sit and breathe.  La Dolce Vita baby.  I should even have enough left over for a bottle of Chianti Classico so I don't get parched...Salute'.


10.  Be Happy

They say money can't buy happiness BUT...$1,000 is definitely enough for me to test the theory.


It appears $1,000 just doesn't buy what it use to.  But, I could make it work.  A very happy Moolah Monday to you all.  And yes...still dreaming of world peace.

--Kathy

Scavenger Hunt Sunday (June 17, 2012)...

Okay...I HAD the best ever introduction in ALL my months of Scavenger Hunt Sunday posts written and posted. You would have LOVED it.  It was AMAAAAAAAAZING.  Probably would have won an award of some sort for humor and creativity.  Honestly.  But it disappeared.  Poof.  It's gone.  If only I could lose weight that easily.   The Black Hole of the Blogosphere.  The Bermuda Triangle of Scavenger Hunts.  Oh well...trust me...it was good :).

This week's Scavenger Hunt Sunday prompts are:  Meet you on the corner, Mother Nature meets technology, One step at a time, What's wrong with this picture, AND...Standing tall.

1.  Meet you on IN the corner

I can FEEL you staring at my butt.

2.  Mother Nature meets Technology

Technology (sort of) meets nature.  Okay, okay, okay...it's a dang pinwheel being blown by the wind.

3.  One Step at a Time

If the shoe fits...take a step in it.  Heck, take a step in it even if it DOESN'T fit...I do.

4.  What's Wrong  With This Picture?

Sometimes what is wrong, makes it kinda right in my eyes.  What's wrong?  Lots and lots and LOTS of noise.  BUT, I really like the graininess.  And it is straight out of the camera...no crop, nada.

5.  Standing Tall

Have door, will travel.  We have moved four time with Things #1, #2 and #3.  And I have taken my closet door with me each time.  You just can't leave these "standing tall" milestones behind for someone else to paint over.  The door now sits propped up against the wall in my office.

I have to admit, not my best work this week.  But I also have to admit I'm just glad I got the challenges done. I'm going to take some satisfaction out of that.  Boo-yah Baby.  

And a Happy Father's Day to all the dads today.  I want to thank everyone for your kind comments regarding my Father's Day post about MY male parental unit.  It honestly warms my heart to know that I might have touched even one person when it comes to my thoughts, words and photos.  So to hear so many positive responses, well....I'm ALMOST speechless :).    Quite honestly, it does a soul good to convey via written word what is felt in one's heart.  So thank you.

My dad's daughter...        

--Kathy

linked to:

Happy Father's Day...the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly...

Happy Father's Day to my male parental unit.  Yes, posting a bit early.  But I've had Father's Day on the brain for awhile now.  Dad has taken up permanent residence in there recently.  Which I guess is fair since I've probably occupied his brain in varying degrees for the last 52 years.  My Pops, gosh I love him.  He is my first love.  He is the man I use as a measuring stick for every guy who has come in and out of my life.  He is my hero. Father's Day is a bit tough this year.  Pops has Alzheimer's.  I hope he remembers that I love him.  I hope I told him enough.  But I'm thinking it is never enough.

I visited Pops earlier this week.  It was a visit no different than what I have become accustom to.  Which is a disconcerting realization in itself.  I was happy for the nurses aide who came to sit down at our table when she noticed I was showing dad a family photograph from Thing #1's recent law school graduation.  Dad didn't know who any of us were in the photo, and appeared a bit stressed by the situation. Perhaps the aide saw that I was getting a bit teary eyed.  I'm just glad she plopped herself down for whatever reason.  One-sided conversations are extremely exhausting (I'm sure a bit of Karma from all those dad/daughter teen-aged talks).  She joked with dad a bit.  Those workers on the floor are angels disguised in scrubs. Then she said to me "I'll bet your dad was a GREAT father...I can tell by just seeing how he looks at you". He still is...no past tense needed. But her insight into my dad made me smile.

My dad was a police officer in Washington, D.C. and he was a District Justice in our home town.  He had MAJOR connections...for a small town.  Connections that absolutely KILLED my social life!!!!  I replied "Oh yeah, he was a GREAAAAAT dad, but he made it nearly impossible for me to get a date!!!".  That's what happens when the police department has your make and model car, plus license plate number on file...all courtesy of my Pops.  Add in the fact he was a downright imposing figure physically...all 6'4" of him.  In part, I think it was why I was so anxious to leave town as soon as I could, it's tough always being known as "The Judge's" girl.  I never wanted to let him down by doing something to embarrass him.   I rolled my eyes telling her the stories, then admitted "But...I am soooo much like him".   Up until a few years ago, that was the one accusation thrown at me that would totally flip my lid.  "You are just like your dad!!!!"  Yep, the good, the bad AND the ugly.  

"By the way, I paid him to take you"

(1982)

The Good.  Gosh, the list is actually longer now than I remember it being when I was growing up.  I don't think I truly appreciated dad's humor until my wedding day.  As we started to walk down the aisle he looked at me and said "By the way, I paid him to take you."  WTF??!!??  But immediately followed by placing his hand upon mine and telling me that no matter WHAT happens, he would always be there for me.  And boy did I take him up on the offer a few times over the years.  A great combo of a dry sense of humor AND fierce sense of loyalty and protection that I'm proud to claim as my own too.  I would without remorse deploy the town police department to watch over my own Things, if I only had the clout.  I also inherited my Pop's love of ice cream, baseball, moral compass, sense of honor and family, and his over exuberance in spending for Christmas morning...but thank goodness NOT his thinning hair line.  Now THAT would just be downright embarrassing.

The Bad.  Oh yeah, Dad might be a God...but he's a God with some flaws too.  Funny, I have the same flaws...go figure.  Extreme Type A personality, perfectionist, with a middle name of "Because I said so".  It is usually when I exhibit THESE traits that the family can tick me off in a nano-second with the acute observation "You are JUST like your dad".  Irritates me to no end because these are the exact traits that made being Dad's daughter a real pain in the arse and which I swore I would NEVER be like.

"Walking a Fine Line"

And...the Ugly.  Aside from God's warped sense of humor by bestowing upon me, THE shoe maven of the family, dad's ugly, ugly, UGLY feet.  I have to admit that dad's Alzheimer's scares the bejeezus out of me.  I find myself testing my brain daily.  I start each day by reciting my Things names. If I can get those right...I'm good to go.  But seeing what ugliness this disease has brought upon this giant of a  man looms large in my own brain. Is my increasing forgetfulness and brain hiccups the beginning of the end?  Or is it just mush-brain as a result of being 52?  I have no freakin' idea.  At times, I feel I'm walking a fine line waiting for the shoe to drop on me. Albeit a fashionable shoe.  If it can happen to my hero, the sharpest man I know, believe me...it can happen to anyone.   Rational thought tells me it isn't good to let this color my world.  But rational thought sometimes goes out the window when you see what Alzheimer's can do to the strongest of men.  At my most vulnerable I wonder what chance do I have?  I'm just a total Daddy's Girl who really misses being able to talk to her dad.  But I know what he would tell me "Kath, there's enough in life to worry about that IS in your control, don't sweat the other stuff".

Dear Dad,

There isn't anything I can give you that comes wrapped up in a box.  

If I could, I would call the police department and tell them to protect you with all their resources, 

no matter how embarrassing that might be

 (from personal experience I can tell ya it could be awkward at times).  

And even tho I would have paid people to take YOU at certain times in my life, 

I can tell you now that no matter what happens I will always be there for you.  

I am proud to be "just like my dad". 

And because you can never say it enough, I love you Dad with all my heart. 

But I hope you already know that...because I said so!!!!!! 

Happy Father's Day Pops

--Kathy

Classic Joisey...

Happy Flag Day!  Going to take advantage of both the glorious weather AND the fact that Thing #3 has blown me off for the entire day...yet AGAIN...and head out with "James Dean".  But before I do, just a few "this and that" photos from Memorial weekend that scream classic Jersey Shore to moi...


The town...

The beach...

The retro Boardwalk...

And of course, the cute kids (which are universal)...

"Happy Flag Day"

The only thing missing here is Salt Water Taffy...next trip! :)

--Kathy