October 31, 2014

The "raisin lady"...


Is there a Halloween equivalent of "Bah Humbug"?  Altho never top-10 on my holiday hit list,  it quickly tumbled below "Tax Deadline Day" now that I do not have anyone directly involved in the custom in my home.  I have no good reason to keep bags upon bags of my favorite candies around the house..that I will EAT and then have to RE-purchase...for trick-or treaters.  I'm dangerously close to morphing into the dreaded "Raisin Lady". Dispenser of raisin oatmeal cookies, sans the cookie, to innocent children. Altho gotta admit, dump the raisins out of the box and ya got a cool kazoo sure to annoy ALL your neighbors...especially the Raisin Lady.



"Bah Humbug Charlie Brown"
Thing #3


You know the one.  The house with the woman who obviously could care less for Halloween and those unsuspecting innocent trick-or-treaters who rang her doorbell.  There is no other reason for giving out raisins.  So unmotivated by the holiday that she risked a late night egging...just sayin'.  

It's a far nobler deed that I just turn off my lights.  Put the dogs in the basement.  Make dinner reservations.  Than become known as the "Raisin Lady".  The all encompassing term that includes those that hate the holiday enough to give out the likes of dried out grapes,  orrrrr...


1.  Necco Wafers (fruit that tastes like dust...and doesn't have an expiration date)

2.  Circus Peanuts (the cousin, from the wrong side of the tracks, of the Easter Peep)

3.  Good & Plenty (even shiny coatings of pink and white can't disguise the devil's candy...black licorice)

3.  Wax Lips/Wax Coke Bottles (I don't seem to remember "wax" falling into any of the major food groups)

4.  Apples (always good for parental confiscation accompanied by stories of crazy people inserting razor blades...or pins... into them)

5.  Candy Corn (the fruitcake of Halloween)


honorable mention...

**6.  Candy Canes (used by those who FORGOT it was Halloween and obviously rooted thru their attic for last year's Christmas cast offs.  altho better than the alternative, a can of "Cream of Celery" Campbell's soup)


Going from the house who gives out FULL SIZE BARS to the Raisin Lady house?  Unacceptable, despite my lack of enthusiasm.  So tonight I will darken the homestead, hit a local tavern, and lift a glass of wine to toast Halloween and all the "Raisin Ladies" of the world.  My way of showin' the love without tarnishing my reputation. Bah Humbug.







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