July 9, 2012

"Oh how I regret not having worn a bikini...

...for the entire year I was twenty-six.
If anyone young is reading this, go, right this minute,
put on a bikini and don't take it off till you are thirty-four."

-Nora Ephron


If there was ever a true straight shooter on love, marriage, divorce, parenting, feminism, aging, youth...on being a woman in general, it was Nora Ephron.  I always admired her ability to cut thru the cr*p and tell it like it is, yet shroud it in a veil of humor at the same time.  Because sometimes you just gotta laugh at things to take away their power over you. The world lost a true genius when the writer/film maker passed away recently at 71 years of youth.  So today, Stasha at Monday Listicles challenged us with a Nora Ephron-esque list of "Things I will miss, and things I won't miss" in our lives.

Things I Won't Miss (much)...

1.  Being told what to do


Sure, you want me to move in that direction?  You are going to have to wait til I'm done laughing before I can completely ignore you.


2.  Wrinkles


I don't feel my age on most days...so why should I have to LOOK it?


3.  Bad hair days decades


There is a very good reason why men wore their hair in pony tails in colonial Philadelphia....the freakin' Philly humidity.  At least there were no colonial scrunchies.  


4.  BIRDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Pigeons, aka rats with wings.  The only bird worse is a sea gull.  They seem to find me EVERYWHERE and hone in on me with their sophisticated aerial radar devices.  Here I am sitting minding my own business on the 11th floor...and a flying rat comes to pay his respects.  I was debating whether to wear my hair behind my ears or not...Rat Man suggested a pony tail.  See why I hate them? 


5.  Watching what I eat


I'm seriously banking on the fact that there are no calories in Heaven, pints of Ben & Jerry ice cream are considered part of a healthy life-style, tread mills are outlawed, and Nikes come in heels AND a nude patent leather.


6.  Cleaning up messes


Yep, both literally and figuratively.




What I WILL miss (a lot)...

1.    Naps


The complete and utter joy of doing nothing... and then napping afterwards to recuperate.


2.  The magic of Christmas


The anticipation, the excitement, the decorating, the smells, the colors, the love....the UPS man!!!!!!


3.  My favorite blanket


...that I always seem to have to wrestle away from one of my Things, my dogs, wayward neighborhood children, and the UPS man.


4.  Adirondack Chairs


...especially the two in my backyard that I like to plop in with a glass of wine at the end of a day.


5.  Peanut M & M's


(self portrait #25...argh this is getting REALLY hard!!!!! Remind me again why I signed up for this?)

Thank goodness you don't need a prescription for these mood-enhancing babies.  AND...they melt in your mouth, not your in your hands.  Actually,  I don't think ANY chocolate can melt in my hands.  I scarf it down waaay too quickly. 


6.  Side Splitting, Gut Wrenching, Snort Inducing.....Laughs


If I HAVE to get wrinkles and grow older...I'm just going to call them laugh lines and blame the Things and Better Half.  Actually, I will miss blaming them for LOTS of things.  Which I guess is probably on THEIR list of things they will NOT miss.  But they need to get their own blog and camera for that.


R.I.P Nora.  I'm betting that everyone in heaven has a great memory, necks that don't sag, are forever young and wearing bikinis.  Okay scratch that last one, that would look awkward with wings.  Maybe yoga pants and a tank top because we want to be comfortable while looking awesome.  Your kinda place.

--Kathy

linked to:


Photobucket

23 comments:

  1. What a wonderful post to start my day off with - great photography and lots of laughs!! I was actually going to participate in this one today, but I ran out of time to execute!! I seriously love you selfies..... xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wonderful list! You made me laugh with the UPS guy and the pigeons! Your photos are gorgeous! Ellen

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mornin' Kathy, wonderful blog (as usual). Enjoy your day!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yep, Nora Ephron was/is one of my favorites. I felt a very personal connection when she died. But you have summed it up beautifully this week. Happy Monday. Susan

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think your Nora esque style post was perfectly funny and real. Those windows shots of you are gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love. Your photos and your words made me smile! I don't have the courage to do self-portraits.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is YOU at your BEST. Loved every photo, every caption! (and I'm not liking this summer day stuck in my office...so THANKS for cheering me up BIG TIME!)

    ReplyDelete
  8. BRILLIANT!

    You. Are. Gorgeous.

    Daaaaaamn You!

    Love your photos. Love the black and white of you w/ the bright yellow M&Ms.

    I'm hooked now.

    Love Love love. X

    I must use your idea and link you to my blog post. FABULOUS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would LOVE to see what you come up with! Please let me know if you do.

      Delete
  9. Haha, what a funny post ! I'd miss napping, Christmas, M&M's, and laughs too :) Beautiful pictures

    ReplyDelete
  10. I cannot subscribe. Can you subscribe me to yoru blog? siammuse@msn.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are now the second person to ask for an email subscription...so I added a link below, check it out. You can either do it that way, or you can go below that where is says "Care to Join Me?" and follow my blog. The posts should show up in your blogger feed that way. Either way...so glad to see you here :)

      Delete
  11. Great pictures!

    And ugh...I hate birds too.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Pigeon photo bomb!! how I love your selfies, photos and lists. And your funny. And....
    I will not miss being told what to do. Not even if it is a super gorgeous man in uniform saying it!

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is so great!! Um and yes, sea gulls - worst bird ever! Many a time have they stolen a snack from my hand! I heard a few in the harbor last weekend and it was like nails on a chalkboard.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Kathy! You are brilliant! I know I've said this before, but you ARE!

    I LOVE your selfies and the photos of you with your kids are JUST AMAZING!!!

    Wonderful post, as always, and brilliant photography work!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi there! :) I'm following you via Monday Listicles. Look forward to reading more! Come on by and check out my blog! I would appreciate the follow back! Have a great day!
    -Kat

    http://mom-uncensored.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. This was great! Love your pictures and stories. I love the dogs, napping and wondrous. And your selfie is beautiful

    ReplyDelete
  17. YES...a fellow "snorter"!!! Absolutely gorgeous photos!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sea gulls are worse than pigeons, right? Especially when you're down the shore and the peeps next to you decide to feed them! AHH! I love all those photos, especially the self-portrait with M&M peanuts! Perfection, I do believe!
    Coming from another Philly gal (all right I'm just over the bridge in NJ, but close enough!)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow! U got it going on girl!! M&M's should PAY u for that shot it screams sexy an what women love... Chocolate! Great list great photos-

    ReplyDelete
  20. I was scrolling through trying to find the dragonfly picture for Christopher to see. I told him I saw a purple one. I hope my memory isn't wrong. I'm on the search. Anyway, I love the SP with the M&Ms. And girlfriend I LOVE the shoes you are wearing in that photo.

    ReplyDelete