February 26, 2016

The days are long...

...but the years are short.  And just like THAT, I've somehow morphed from the overloaded, no time to breathe days of being a mom...to the much less harried years of a grandmom-to-be.  A prospect that quite honestly, I completely dreaded until relatively recently.  Luckily for moi, my once reluctant 'tude had morphed by the time Thing #2 gave us the good news while home for the Christmas holiday. So I greeted it with open Grandma arms (altho I'm working on that courtesy of Jillian Michaels). Unfortunately my 'tude regarding "keeping a secret" hadn't changed.  I'm relieved the gag order has finally been lifted. Whew!

"Baby Cakes"
(Seriously...how CUTE is this cake?  Shout out to Thing #1.2 for finding this at Nutmeg Cake Design in Philly!)

Yes, the idea of becoming a grandmom hasn't always been so easily embraced.  In fact, it was often accompanied by a cold sweat, which should not be confused with a hot flash.  Either way, it made me uncomfortable.  It's a bit of an understatement to say that I have not accepted the whole aging process easily.  And the idea of being a grandmother immediately evoked visions of support hose, eye glasses hanging on a chain around my neck, and that whole grandparent aroma...what IS it?  A strange concoction of mothballs, AquaNet, and Cream of Wheat?  Regardless, no thank you.

But a funny thing happened on my journey to Grandparent-to-be status.  Envy.  Of all my friends who belonged to an exclusive club that I did not have membership.  The Grandparent Club.  The photos upon photos posted on Facebook of those cute little babies.  The cuddles.  The laughter. The pride of seeing their children morph into parents before their eyes. The joy of growing families. The love.  Now, add in all the TIME I have on my hands now that my Things are all grown.  My duties as "Mom" have been drastically curtailed. I'm seriously bordering on unemployment. Coupled with all my card carrying, Grandparent Club friends espousing the many, many, MANY club perks, well...sign me up! STAT! Rocking chairs, crochet needles, and denture cream be damned!

Thing #3
Samsung Galaxy

Wrinkles and saggy knees aren't the only thing that comes with age.  So does patience, wisdom and perspective.  I can honestly say I will be a waaaaaay better grandmom than I was a mom.  Why? Because of those words I opened up this post with.  TRULY understanding that "the days are long, but the years are short".  Something I truly did not comprehend while younger, and as a mom. Many a time I would get to the end of a long day, tuck in my Things, and think "Whew!  Glad THAT is over!"  The days are long, but the years are short.  I think it is a concept that for most, can be preached ad nauseum, but not truly grasped until looking back upon it.  That knowledge is one of the perks that comes with my impending membership to the Grandparent club. This too shall pass.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Never wish away time.  Every day is a gift.  Embrace family, and all that each has to offer because you never know when they won't be there to offer it. And my personal favorite...buy it now before some other grandmom snatches it up for THEIR grandkid!  

However, with the amazingly good news of impending Grandparenthood, there is a downside. Never let it be said I'm not honest, or above feeling a bit sorry or myself.  My future grandbaby will be in Cincinnati....I'm in Philly.  I won't be privileged to witness, on any sort of regular basis, my beautiful Thing #2 be the wonderful mom I KNOW she will be. It is a treasured gift for a mom to be there for her daughter when she has questions or needs help navigating pregnancy and motherhood. To give a hug. To reassure her she is doing great. To tell her everything will be okay. I won't be able to jump in and help her out, with any sort of short hand notice. Long-distance moral support is about all I'll be able to provide.  I won't be a regular physical presence in my soon-to-be grandbaby's life...attend ballgames, dance recitals, school concerts, or even babysit as much as I would absolutely love to.  Yes, I'm going to be the "other" grandmom.  Plenty of tears have been shed, and I'm sure many more are to come because it breaks my heart. But it is a reality that comes with my admittance into the Grandparent Club. There is an irony to all this.  The exact reason for the depth of my sadness is directly correlated to my keen level of understanding that yes indeed... the days are long, but the years are short.  That's what comes with age, wisdom, and perspective.  As a young parent, I didn't understand this so I shouldn't expect my Things to grasp the concept at their young ages either.  But as a grandparent-to-be, I couldn't understand it more clearly. Have I told you how much I hate irony?  Or that wisdom should be granted earlier in life to all of us?

For the time being I'm doing the only thing I know how to do. I'm channeling my inner Scarlett and telling myself "I can't think about that today. I'll go crazy if I do!  I'll think about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day."  And for today, I've got OTHER things to think about.  Like...what will I be called?  Omi (Why?  Because I had an Oma.  But no one can be like my Oma, so I'll be a bit different).  Do they make a telephoto lens for my camera powerful enough to take photos from Philly to Cincinnati?  Should I feel guilty to wish upon my Things children just like themselves?  How many roundtrip airline tickets to Cincy a year can I afford?  And is an Omi who blogs, works out, drinks wine, speaks her mind, dances to Springsteen and Bon Jovi, won't be caught dead in elastic waisted pants, and smells like Thierry Mugler's "Angel" still allowed to be a card carrying member of the Grandparent Club?

The days are long, but the years are short so....I guess we'll find out the answers to all the above soon enough.

Here's where I "link up" today

(Join me on Tuesdays for Song-ography.  Click on photo for a full description)


  1. Beautiful and wise post, Kathy! Congratulations on your pending enrollment into the Grandparent Club! You will be such a great and very cool grandma. Nowadays there are so many ways to communicate long distance, so your grandbaby will still grow up knowing the sound of your voice and getting to know your personality. And then the times you are physically together will never be taken for granted.

  2. Congratulations on impending grandmahood! How exciting!

    Thanks for sharing such wonderful news with us at photo Friday!

  3. So exciting. My mom is a BIG fan of being a Savti (my grandma in Hebrew)!! She says it's the best club!

  4. Am excited for you and know you are going to love this new role. It is very fun and much easier than being a mom

  5. That cake is too adorable. You will be a fabulous long distance grandma and while it is not the the same thing as being there, facetime is a wonderful thing to fill in the gap between visits.

  6. Congratulations to you and your beautiful daughter. I think you really are both at the beginnning of a whole new adventure in your lives together


  7. You might be the other "Omi" but you will be the cool one! Many congratulations to you and the future Opa". An exciting new chapter in your life.

  8. Many congrats to you Kath! I can understand your sadness about not being a stone's throw away for your daughter, but at the same time, that could indeed be a blessing in disguise. As a mother, we so want to always be there, but sometimes it can be a distraction from allowing our children to fully stand on their own if they know that if it gets too tough, all they have to do is call in the troops to come take care of things. 506 miles isn't all that far away; could make for a nice extended weekend drive, certainly much cheaper than airfare. My daughter & grandkids are in Texas and the drive there is exciting because of the anticipation...of course the drive home, serves as a wind-down from the weekend and preps me for the calmer/quiet of home. I'm sure you will sort it all out, and everything will be fine.

  9. Well, I am totally jealous! I have been waiting to be a grandmother for ages and I know it is still at least 2 years away. My daughter isn't even married yet.

    Congratulations! and thanks for sharing at SYC.