So here is the irony of "freedom". The irony of being able to do whatever you want. Or, The irony of being able to NOT do whatever you don't want...
"M.I.A."
Tyler State Park
Bucks County, Pennsylvania
Sometimes you actually get very little done. Time management. Discipline. Questionable choices. I could easily be lecturing my college freshman. Instead, it appears all the freedoms that come along with my new-found empty nest, are stifling MOI. I start off each day with my "to do" list of empty boxes just waiting to be checked off. Unfortunately I seem to end each day the exact same way.
I'm missing in action (M.I.A.). I barely pick up my camera. I blog sporadically. I sleep in too late. I get easily distracted (Look! A squirrel!). The only reason my house is cleaner, is because there is less mess being made (regardless, I'm going to count that as a win). I'm full of good intentions that dwindle with each passing hour of the day.
It appears the college freshman and I are navigating similar paths. I've never NOT been accountable to anyone. I've never NOT been on a schedule. I've NEVER not had time constraints. I've NEVER been in total control. And I've NEVER gotten so little done in a day.
I had a little talk with the college freshman yesterday about expectations and responsibilities. In the course of the conversation I told her,
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"I could never be disappointed in you unless you didn't get something you wanted,
when the situation was entirely in your control."
In the context of our talk, I had to pat myself on the back for my motherly brilliance. You know, those opportunities for self-satisfaction don't just present themselves all that often. However, 24 hours of self-reflection later...I need to morph that pat on the back, into a kick in the butt. A college education isn't just for my freshman. I feel like we are bracketing the experience on both ends. Walking the same path. Noticing the same scenery. Learning from the same situation. Makind adjustments. The Better Half should be happy the college tuition bill apparently is a two-for-one deal, and that I am yet again doing my best to...save him money (yeah, gonna count THAT as a win too!).
Freedom can be intoxicating. Freedom can be distracting. Freedom can be overwhelming. And sometimes, ya just gotta reign in that freedom a bit so you don't wind up MIA. That goes for both college freshmen AND certain moms who apparently are at the bottom of the grading curve. I love when I'm right. And there are times when I hate being right. But for the moment, I'm just gonna be happy I am figuring out that maaaaaaybe...I need some self imposed directions to keep me on track with all this new found freedom. Which should NOT be confused with the laundry washed, dried and folded. I mean seriously, adjustments can only go so far.
M.IA. no mo'.
Here's where I "link up" today
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This is great! I can only imagine what that's going to be like. I hope I have a job of sorts by then or I could see myself going MIA as well. It's coming up fast! I thought that looked like Tyler Park!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya!!! The move to Saudi and my hampered freedom means I have lots of time to finish up those projects I didn't have time for last year. I've got the time, the projects and desire, but I find myself shiftless, blowing in the wind. This week I actually made an itemized list and that helped. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're enjoying the empty nest!!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds a lot like summer for me. I also make myself these huge lists of things that I'm going to get done because I don't get to do them during the school year and then...nothing. *sigh* Back at it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for joining us for Photo Friday this week!
Isn't it funny that when we're finally free of all the things we complained that were time sucks it's not used wisely!?! Or is it just me? Love this shot and your words speak truths. Love this
ReplyDeletePerhaps this time of "nonproductivity" is actually a time of healing.
ReplyDeleteBe well.
You'll be getting your mojo back!
Yup, I'm with you. The same thing is happening to me, but I'm with NC Sue, I think you need those unproductive times to get inside your own head and heart. At least I hope that's the case.
ReplyDeleteYup, I'm with you. The same thing is happening to me, but I'm with NC Sue, I think you need those unproductive times to get inside your own head and heart. At least I hope that's the case.
ReplyDeleteGiven the choice of the two, now that I have experienced both, it's difficult to choose which life I prefer. It's nice to not have those responsibilities, but then again if I don't have something on my "to do" list I tend to get very, very lazy. You will find your "mojo" and what works for you. You are a wonderful photographer, don't let that slide.
ReplyDeleteWhile I never experienced the 'empty-nest-syndrome' I can still relate. When we moved to the US I did not have job, but stayed home, with intent. To focus on making our house - 'ours' and on photography. I realized that it is not for everyone to 'work from home'. I think I since have gotten the hang of that and wished I could work from home more often, but it definitely takes discipline. You'll get there!
ReplyDeleteI only get a taste of this once a year. My husband and son leave for a minimum of a week. I look so forward to it and then don't accomplish a thing. At the same time, I am not as clean when they aren't here. I don't put anything back and it just gets messy. It's like I just take off completely and veg out. Enjoy it. I am sure that you just need it for now and then one day you'll jump up and that'll be the day that you see the empty nest as a new adventure. I never get to feel that in a week. Maybe on that last day and then it's time for me to clean up my mess. One time they missed their final connection and I was relieved to have one more night.
ReplyDeleteI love this post. While I feel my freedoms are being kidnapped more and more, the results can be the same as having too much freedom. You lose yourself. Time management. Yes, that is the theme of the day in our house, as well. The more I try to instill time management in my high school freshman, the less time I seem to have for myself. That feels so backwards, but I try to remember that a lot of hand holding goes into transitions. I have often wondered if I would know what to do with myself in the empty nest years and watching others go through it helps me to be more gracious towards my own mother who struggles to fill her time with her own goals. So much of our mothering years involves supporting others that we don't know how to not do that when the time comes to let go. I truly believe that this little season is just a breather for you before the grand-mothering years become a new phase! And you will be the hottest grandmother around, when that day comes!
ReplyDeleteI can not even imagine suffering from empty nest. I love having my time to focus on all those things that I want to do. I just need more of that time to get them all done. Love the cornfield.
ReplyDelete