April 23, 2015

"Suddenly I see...


...this is not what I wanna be.  However, I can only see this if held at arms length without my reading glasses!  SML, I somehow went directly from Flintstones multivitamins to Centrum Silver.  And if you don't know what SML means, chances are we are sharing the same rickety boat. Note: relying on Urban Dictionary to give meaning to the vocab encountered in social media means...you are probably in the Centrum Silver zone too. Silver is apparently the new gray.  The optimist in me says that's a good thang.  Gray evokes dull, colorless, boring, gloomy, somber images (despite what AARP leads you to believe).  On the other hand, silver brings on visions of a magical, sophisticated, chic, shimmery sort. Grandmas have gray hair, movie stars have silver.  Moi?  Only my hairdresser knows for sure. Regardless, the pessimist in me says...SML.



"SML"
IPhone


What I CAN see clearly, without aid of reading glasses OR long arms, is that I have a clear disconnect between how old I am, and how old I perceive myself to be.  Gotta tell ya, I think it all began when Obama was elected president.  Twas the beginning of my gloomy, somber and gray outlook for one main reason.  Because I am older than him.  SML, I'm older than the freakin' President of the United States!  Older than the perceived leader of the FREE WORLD!  And THAT is how you know you have left the town of Bedrock destined for Centrum-ville.  Disclaimer:  I would hold a Republican president to the same standard of blame.  

The disconnect is a conundrum.  I travel.  I eat out (probably too much).  I go to happy hour (when I'm not too tired).  I've done Saun T's Insanity TWICE (and cursed like a teenager the whole time).  I'm currently kickin' FitBit's butt.  I dream.  I make sh*t happen (when I want to).  I consider myself a 'cool mom' because I'm never gonna show up at school in sweatpants and a scrunchy (despite what the Things might think).  I usually either know all the answers, or can bluff really well (when I can remember the questions).  I never see myself as joining the  "gray silver sneakers" brigade at my gym.  And I'm young enough to not be smart enough to know that I should "never say never".

But then there's that OTHER hand, the one that has the age spots.  When I sign onto Facebook I get sidebar ads for pelvic mesh class action lawsuits, menopausal supplements, dementia symptoms, and 60 minute face lifts.  Add insult to injury, I'm reminded by my teenage Thing #3 that Facebook is for "old people".  The vast majority of my friends have had knee and/or hip replacements.  My favorite news updates are the "20 Years Ago Today" segments.  I consider it a lucky day when I get a parking spot close to a store entrance, and sometimes do a celebratory dance in my driver's seat (it's dang impressive AND burns calories).  I have more patience, probably because I just don't care anymore about certain things.  Younger guys at the gym often help me remove the heavy weights left on my machine by the jerk before me. When I look around, I'm often the oldest in the room.  And probably most upsetting of all...my Thing #1 is old enough to be losing HIS hair (my apologies to Thing #1 for the outing).  SML.

The good news?  Sometimes I actually forget how old I am.  And I don't mean "conveniently" forget.  I mean the kind of forget I use to admonish MY mom about..."Seriously mom, how can you FORGET how freakin' old you are?!?!?!?"  And you know what?  I'm far from alone.  I read that someone turns 50 every 7 seconds.  Boo-yah.  Misery loves company, and so does Centrum Silver.  And just because I now take Centrum Gray Silver doesn't mean I'm dead yet.  I just have less time than I use to when Flintstones were my posse'.  But that just means I have less time to spend with people or things that don't make me happy.  So anyone I delete from my apparently antiquated Facebook's "friends" list...just blame the Centrum Silver.  IF I can remember the password. SML.







Here's where I "link up" today.



(click on image for description of Song-ography)
Next Tuesday's Song-ography title suggestion is "Automatic" by Miranda Lambert.
Come back and link up!  (blog, instagram, flickr photos welcome)

20 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness...honey, I am right there with you! In fact I am probably older than you (or at least close) I am fighting the need to go have an eye exam and get a stronger script...I just don't want to surrender to it...but soon. You are still beautiful!

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  2. Great post! It's not just SML, it's SAOL!!

    ha, ha... I think I just made that acronym up but it stands for: Story of All Our Lives... even those a bit younger.

    I remember turning 30 and being like wow, how did that happen! 40 is right around the corner.... I think time moves faster as we get older.

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  3. ROFLMBO!!! I share your conundrum. Make sure you get plenty of Vitamin D. I just read where Alzheimer's patients may lack this important vitamin.

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  4. You are so young at heart - ignore the number!
    In terms of mesh ads - ad blockers my friend!

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  5. Awesome post! Welcome to the club........:)

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  6. hi Kathy!

    Yes, I was not familiar with SML. Had to look up. I guess I don't need that phrase in my life. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but I don't ever say Story of My Life. I think it may stem from my ex always saying "it's just my luck" and I hated that attitude in him, hence ...no longer attached to him. lol

    However, I know I am older than you and yet I don't think about it all that much. I have my Mom's and her Dad's attitude or presence of thinking that I am NOT as old as I really AM.
    I suffer from a grave disease: YOUNG AT HEART. It came upon me in my forties. I met my current husb and a dance when I was 47 and I thought I was 25 that night, well maybe 30 would be more like it.

    case in point: I have gray hair, that I AM NOT going to ever color again. I have a spare tire that I am always determined to hide in my post pics and I have SIX glorious grandkids that make me so happy I am not young and have to run them all over town again and again. I just get to hug and tickle and feed and tend them and then leave them to their MOMS, my dds and I am out ta there. lol

    ♥renae
    renae's repertoire
    renaesrepertoire.com

    (ignore simple sequins at the top)



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    1. Hey Renae! Thanks for taking the time to comment. First off, let me just say that I am totally THRILLED that I am here and ABLE to take my Centrum silver! Don't get me wrong. It's just that I like to try to look at the humorous side of MY life, as well as the serious. And while some might have no problem with the passing of time, I sometimes tend to get a bit wistful about some aspects of it. And at those times, finding the humor in it helps me tremendously. My posts are in no way meant to pass judgement on anyone else other than ME. And I actually kinda like passing judgement on myself...keeps me honest :). And my def of SML differs a bit from yours but...I guess it's the same general idea. So glad you are keeping your gray hair, you rock it!

      Kathy

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  7. You are too funny! You are one hot Centrum Silver taking Mama, so there is that. I totally had to look up SML, but I am looking up internet slang weekly to keep up with the kids. Laughing at pelvic mesh ads. I don't get them on the computer, yet, but the commercials come on daily when my kids watch Little House on The Prairie on the Inspiration channel. Judging by the other commercials INSP thinks the only people who enjoy inspirational TV are above a certain age. I'm just waiting for them to finally ask what a pelvic sling is.

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  8. LOL. I'm holding you responsible for adding more laugh lines to my face. Thank you!

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  9. I have been forgetting how old I am for years and when asked how long I've been married, "seems like forever" raises fewer eyebrows (cause I lose track of that too). Love this post and can relate to most, if not all of it. My kids keep telling me I don't look my age but my body begs to differ.

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  10. So you have given me a good laugh as always! What wonderful wit you have!

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  11. age is only a number and you're only as old as you feel....but they only say that to you when you're old.

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  12. Kathy - You know how I feel about this subject. I just told your Thing #2 I am too old to train for another FULL marathon...so I contributed instead!
    Anyway, to paraphrase the late great Nora Ephron, it's hard to know how 'old' women are these days because of hair dye! Face it, our moms didn't utilize the age defying benefits of hair dye as much as our generation has.

    When people tell me I look great for my age (I cringe when I hear the my age comment), I don't think I am unusual! I think this is what "my age" looks like now!

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  13. Kathy - You know how I feel about this subject. I just told your Thing #2 I am too old to train for another FULL marathon...so I contributed instead!
    Anyway, to paraphrase the late great Nora Ephron, it's hard to know how 'old' women are these days because of hair dye! Face it, our moms didn't utilize the age defying benefits of hair dye as much as our generation has.

    When people tell me I look great for my age (I cringe when I hear the my age comment), I don't think I am unusual! I think this is what "my age" looks like now!

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  14. That seriously made me giggle. I'll be turning 50 this winter. I went into menopause when I turned 40 and started wearing glasses at 42. But, I don't have any gray hair and besides an occasional forgetfulness (I blame it on stress and a full schedule) I feel like 30! But I see Centrum Silver in my very near future...sigh. Thanks for sharing at Thursday Favorite Things. I hope you will join us again next Thursday!

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  15. You made me smile this morning - so funny.

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  16. I'm waiting for Centrum Platinum, which is the color my senior-citizen hair decided to be. But my true age has absolutely nothing to do with the calendar!

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  17. You are too funny, Kathy. I admit it, I had to look up SML and my haircolor is mostly determined by mood these days, or my hairdresser's. Although it has been like that for over 20 years - LOL. Yes, we are getting older. We cannot deny it, seeing all the young folks (in your case your kids, I don't have any) growing up and getting older, BUT I still believe we are as old as we feel we are!

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  18. Oh my sweet friend, I am right there with you, maybe just a bit ahead of you as I will be right smack dab in the middle of 50 and 60 on November 1st. I refer to my "grey" hair as my platinum grandma highlights. In the interest of full disclosure, " I had to look up SML! Thank you for sharing at the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop xo

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