There comes a time in life when you have to do, what you've got to do. In my case...to breathe. Deeply, clearly, and with gusto. It hasn't been that way for a long time. A VERY long time. And like most things that have happened in childhood, the exact circumstances might have been embellished throughout years of reliving and rehashing. But the facts (as I remember them) are...
1. I started off life with a pretty cute AND functional "schnozz".
And here is where the facts start to get a bit fuzzy.
2. After a rough day of school I came home and drank some beer with my dad on the back patio rehashing his day as a D.C. police officer, and my day having been forced to eat one of those coconut snowflake cookies for a snack that I despised.
"It Just Looks Like Beer"
3. As too often happens after too much drinking, this German girl wound up in her lederhosen and decided to run around the house, and right INTO an opened casement window. Even lederhosen and beer can't make a broken nose look cute. Just sayin'.
4. Hence, I wound up with THIS crooked nose with a bump. Besides joking about it, I really didn't have a problem with it. I chalk it up to a "Schnozz with Character". Which is okay until it stops being functional. A cute pair of shoes that aren't functional I can deal with. A schnozz? Not! I haven't been able to breathe fully from my nose for quite a few years. Not to mention all the problems associated with that. Yet miraculously...I don't snore. I might drool, but I don't snore. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. And so will the Better Half if he knows what's good for him.
"The Bump that Roared"
5. My conundrum has always been that YES I want to breathe, but I kinda like my schnozz with character. It's moi. And I don't want to change that. I'm too old to not want to look like myself anymore. Plus, I wouldn't want to put my friends and family thru the whole "did she have something done?" questions. But years of sinus infections, headaches, exhaustion finally pushed me over the edge to have surgery. Luckily, I found a doc who promised me the bump and crooked exterior would say intact. He would just mess around with the insides to fix me up. And THAT is how I spent yesterday. Septoplasty, Turbinectomy, and Sinus surgery. Oh yeah...I also spent it with ice pad, pain killers, and a Better Half who let me milk all the sympathy I could outta him. Considering the pain, I'm seriously kicking myself for not having the "nose job" just thrown in for good time's sake.
IPhone (thanks to the Better Half)
Altho I can't really breathe yet to test it out, I CAN say with confidence that the bump and crooked nose are still there. Boo yah! And I can also say with utmost certainty that a lesson I learned from this IS...unless you are at Oktoberfest, the combo of beer and lederhosen can never mean anything good is gonna happen.
P.S. In deference to my maternal unit, I have to admit my memory of events MIGHT be clouded due to the passage of years and exaggeration.
(click on image for description of Song-ography)
Next Tuesday's Song-ography title suggestion is "In My Own Little Corner" from Roger & Hammerstein's Cinderella.
Come back and link up! (blog, instagram, flickr photos welcome).