There comes a time in life when you have to do, what you've got to do. In my case...to breathe. Deeply, clearly, and with gusto. It hasn't been that way for a long time. A VERY long time. And like most things that have happened in childhood, the exact circumstances might have been embellished throughout years of reliving and rehashing. But the facts (as I remember them) are...
1. I started off life with a pretty cute AND functional "schnozz".
"Cute Schnozz"
And here is where the facts start to get a bit fuzzy.
2. After a rough day of school I came home and drank some beer with my dad on the back patio rehashing his day as a D.C. police officer, and my day having been forced to eat one of those coconut snowflake cookies for a snack that I despised.
"It Just Looks Like Beer"
3. As too often happens after too much drinking, this German girl wound up in her lederhosen and decided to run around the house, and right INTO an opened casement window. Even lederhosen and beer can't make a broken nose look cute. Just sayin'.
"Got Lederhosen?"
4. Hence, I wound up with THIS crooked nose with a bump. Besides joking about it, I really didn't have a problem with it. I chalk it up to a "Schnozz with Character". Which is okay until it stops being functional. A cute pair of shoes that aren't functional I can deal with. A schnozz? Not! I haven't been able to breathe fully from my nose for quite a few years. Not to mention all the problems associated with that. Yet miraculously...I don't snore. I might drool, but I don't snore. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. And so will the Better Half if he knows what's good for him.
"The Bump that Roared"
IPhone
5. My conundrum has always been that YES I want to breathe, but I kinda like my schnozz with character. It's moi. And I don't want to change that. I'm too old to not want to look like myself anymore. Plus, I wouldn't want to put my friends and family thru the whole "did she have something done?" questions. But years of sinus infections, headaches, exhaustion finally pushed me over the edge to have surgery. Luckily, I found a doc who promised me the bump and crooked exterior would say intact. He would just mess around with the insides to fix me up. And THAT is how I spent yesterday. Septoplasty, Turbinectomy, and Sinus surgery. Oh yeah...I also spent it with ice pad, pain killers, and a Better Half who let me milk all the sympathy I could outta him. Considering the pain, I'm seriously kicking myself for not having the "nose job" just thrown in for good time's sake.
"Ouch"
IPhone (thanks to the Better Half)
Altho I can't really breathe yet to test it out, I CAN say with confidence that the bump and crooked nose are still there. Boo yah! And I can also say with utmost certainty that a lesson I learned from this IS...unless you are at Oktoberfest, the combo of beer and lederhosen can never mean anything good is gonna happen.
P.S. In deference to my maternal unit, I have to admit my memory of events MIGHT be clouded due to the passage of years and exaggeration.
Here's where I "link up" today.
(click on image for description of Song-ography)
Next Tuesday's Song-ography title suggestion is "In My Own Little Corner" from Roger & Hammerstein's Cinderella.
Come back and link up! (blog, instagram, flickr photos welcome).
Passage of years and exaggeration - love it. I'm glad you kept your nose. Mine has a bump that makes it difficult to find the right glasses and sunglasses. I know when it happened - a softball at school. But it didn't swell, I didn't go to the doctor, it just hurt like - what's the worst word for hurt - the moment it happened. You know the kind of pain that makes tears burst out of your eyes. Thankfully I haven't had a surgery needing issues. Hope you get to test out your schnozz soon.
ReplyDeleteKenya, my glasses are always tilting to one side! And will continue to do so 😎
DeleteOh my Kathy, I do hope you are feeling better and better as the hours pass. It does help to have an attentive Better Half alongside. As broken noses go you are probably in great company. Statistically there were 6 children in my family and 2 got broken noses; one of them being myself when a neighbor boy decided to chuck a broomstick at me like a spear as I was running into the backyard. Whack! Smack in the nose. Went back to school that year (4th grade) with white tape across my nose so everyone would know and to remind me not to bump it on door frames or my desk.
ReplyDeleteHang in there; it'll be over soon. If you want it to.............. :)
Well, I am glad you still have the bump, it's character!! You always have the best stories and manage to write them with hilarity. Altho I am sure you were not feeling that hilarity after your surgery. Quick healing!!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh this was funny. I really enjoyed how you lead into your nose surgery with such humor. I'm also glad that you got to keep the "bump" because I think it looks great and does give you character. I was always called (Pug Nose) because I don't have much of a bridge in my nose. I'm too old to have it changed now though nor do I really have a desire to do so.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a rapid recovery and good breathing results.
What post, with lots of character! Glad you kept the character of your nose. Hope you are up and breathing better in no time.
ReplyDeleteUgh! Hope you're on the mend and breathing soon. I've had two failed schnozz surgeries. My DNA wants me to not breathe )-:
ReplyDeleteFailure is NOT an option! Haha
DeleteI am sure yours will work!! My first was a very very involved sinus reconstruction surgery (5 hours of roto rooter essentially). That kinda worked. Then my brother-in-law broke my nose and had to have everything put back where it belonged. But, yeah - that didn't work either.
DeleteMy schnozz is just stubborn!
You have a great nose!
ReplyDeleteOne of our teens had "nearly inflamed closed" sinus passages a few years back, according to the ENT specialist. (They have some pretty cool tools for stretching nostrils and looking up those passages, btw.) His was due to some unknown irritant/possible allergy. But we learned that breathing, really getting the air you're meant to take in, is a big deal! As an athlete, the doctor told him, imagine if you can run well up and down a basketball court now, how it will feel when you can actually breath correctly! Some medicated nasal spray / steroid to subside swelling did the trick. Different situation I know, but either way - speedy recovery and hoping you're able to breath easy!
PS: I think I have a nose bump too. No cool story of drinking beer with my dad behind it though. ;)
DeleteVery funny lead up to the painful end! But you've got a beautiful schnozz on a beautiful face. Hope you heal up quick and the surgery is successful. (visiting from Nancy's Random 5 Friday) Enjoy your weekend~
ReplyDeleteYes...your nose is adorable but not being able to breath..not so cute. Your post? hilarious...but that's no surprise. Glad the Doc. could keep your bump, clean up what needs to be cleaned up and you're on your way to a better sleep. surgery hurts...period. Thank goodness for better halves and good drugs! Happy Healing Kathy.
ReplyDeletePassage of years ... yes, the stories do change. My nose has been broken several times (a door, baseball, etc) and I have a permanent crease going from east to west (or vice versa). I giggled reading your story, glad to hear you still have YOUR nose and happy that surgery was successful, if painful. Hope you make a complete and fast recovery. I want to read the next story! :) Happy Friday!
ReplyDelete#1 Cute.
ReplyDelete#2 Fake ID?
#3 Cute little Fräulein.
#4 Looks good to me.
#5 I broke my nose in a car accident, what a pain in the nose.
Tom The Backroads Traveller
Glad your surgery didn't ruin your profile! :-) My hubby had the opposite situation: he had a bump on his nose as a child. After a basketball injury broke his nose, and he had to have some work done on it in surgery, he ended up with a nose with no bump. I never knew him WITH a nose bump, so I would be so surprised to see him with one!
ReplyDeleteMy husband is quite likely googling the number to the local funny farm as I am sitting with my headphones on, readying your blog and laughing (possibly) way too loud. OMG the timeline is a riot. As for nose and sinus issues - been there (new metal swings popped out of the ground and fell back on me), done that --- (sinus infection, needles up my nose to flush out the sinuses, and eventually, surgery). Still have problems (apparently that cursed swing crushed my sinus cavity on the one side) but better than before.
ReplyDeleteI hope you too find lasting relief.
OMG Kathy, this is so fricken great I can hardly stand it! You are so beautiful on so many levels, it pains me to think you struggled for so long. I know you must still have some snow/ice there to make one last snowball...pack it on, and give us that great BIG beautiful smile! And may you get a good night's rest with sweet, sweet dreams! Aloha Friend.
ReplyDeleteOy! How do you make everything so funny?? Hope you are mended up and breathing right asap!
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Hope you can breathe soon!
ReplyDeleteLoved your story and I agree with others, your nose has character. My husband has a crooked nose, it bends to the right. His is from taking to many left hooks getting into fights in his younger days. I couldn't imagine him looking any other way. He'll be 70 next month.
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful! Be well soon!
ReplyDeleteHappy Weekend to you,
artmusedog and carol
Oh my goodness you are so brave. I hate surgery. I had sinus surgery scheduled and canceled it. I am too chicken. IT would likely relieve me from sinus infections and constant congestion - but my primary said having the packing removed afterward is like having a piano pulled through your butt and out your nose. Yes, he actually said that to me. I promptly canceled the surgery. Hope you heal quickly.
ReplyDeleteOmgosh! Lucky my doc rarely uses packing anymore! Whew! It was a concern for me too.
DeleteAs a German I can say with utter conviction : LEDERHOSEN are never good and in combination with beer it is an utter disaster. Your nose is very beautiful and suits you and I hope that you can breathe easily in the future.
ReplyDeleteSure that it was no beer in the bottle?
Hope you feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story..heartwarming, funny, and so you. Looking forward to seeing the new but original you soon.
ReplyDeleteOK, only you could make me laugh about a little girl drinking beer and then breaking her nose ... lol ... and I must say your nose is quite gorgeous and suits you to a T - glad you didn't change it!
ReplyDeletei am rolling at #2! ha...glad your bump is still in-tact..hope you heal quickly! thanks for linking and happy st. paddy's day!
ReplyDelete