December 20, 2011

Fashion Crime Scene...

Welcome to my family's annual Christmas get-together.  Come on in and get cozy.  

"Santa Tree"

We don't normally put TOO much effort into dressing up for our Christmas party. USUALLY it is a bunch of Eagle's jerseys donning our get-together because it is always on a football Sunday and...they are Christmassy green after all.  But this year apparently some decided we should go to even LESS effort. 

Twas the Sunday before Christmas and all through the house,
I was harried and hurried, perhaps a bit grouchy of a spouse.

 The stockings were STANDING by the chimney in two pairs?
I guess they were wishing Christmas cookies and wine soon would be there...

Yes, that's my family all knock-kneed and pidgeon-toed,
I should have turned off the lights, I'll bet their stockings glowed!

Then out in my foyer arose such a ruckus, 
I sprang from my chair to see what all the fuss was.

Before I had time to yell "Holy Cripes!",
there were more stockings upon us
followed by sweaters of sequins and holiday hype!

It was "Attack of the Killer Kristmas Kardigans" on everyone but mom,
It soon became clear my family shopped at

(All fashion criminals identities have been protected until proven innocent by the fashion police.)

How embarrassing for the bros-in-law to show up in matching vests,
altho a fashion faux pas, they were happy-clad guests!

As I drew in my head, and was turning around
standing by my chimney Thing #1 and his cute beau-ette I found.

Dressed in elves, snowmen and sparkles from head to toe,
This seriously is NOT the family I know!

Not to be outdone by their cousins' show of glitter,
My camera-shy nieces donned bows that proved bigger is better.

Yes, they were smiling for the camera or so they alleged,
but it is apparent to all they are directionally challenged.

This year's dress code was clandestinely organized, 
by rogue family members and boy was I surprised.

 Which in reality was not at all very rude,
because I do NOT have shoes to coordinate with sweaters and stockings of that magnitude.  

It's obvious my family needs new clothes with less gall,
so dash away, dash away, dash away to the mall.

(disclaimer:  no sequins or elves were harmed in the accumulation of these sweaters and socks while compiling this post).



  1. A fantastic assortment of Christmas finery! Thank you for the light-hearted giggle this morning!

  2. That was fun had me laughing... :)

  3. Well, this brought a smile to my face!!! How fun.

  4. Your skill with rhymes has left me impressed,
    As has your family's attempt to shock-dress!
    The jumpers are funny, but the socks I adore,
    And all I can say at the end is, encore!
    (Enough of the stupid rhymes - Ed).
    Brilliant post that really made my day, have a great Christmas xx

  5. It was an ugly Christmas sweater event! I'm laughing so hard! Love the poem, love the photos.

  6. Such fun!
    I love, love, love those socks!
    And thank you for linking with us at the muses today.

  7. well, this is just too too funny and to think they did this without you having a clue...even better. Love your daughter has a knack for that..I don't. Looks like a grand grand day had by all. Merry Christmas!!!

  8. Oh my gosh, Kathy! I was cracking up! Great story! Wonderful poetry! LOL... And FABULOUS Christmas photos! :) Happy Holidays!

  9. Love it, especially those stockings! What precious and priceless memories you've made.

  10. LMAO...oh my word....this is the best! You are quite a poet Kathy! I bet your house is the fun house!

  11. Oh my, this was the best! I laughed so hard I almost couldn't finish the rest . . . hahahahaha

    I love this Kathy, and I can't believe they did this and YOU didn't know!

    P.S. You're awesome!

  12. What a festive bunch you all are! Those sweaters are too funny and I love the socks!

  13. *applause* Very fun -- love the boys' vests. :)